Keep Austin…White?

After taking a picture with my colleagues to emphasize the importance of focusing on Black children at the Society for Research on Child Development’s (SRCD) biennial conference, my friends and I left out of the building to go to another conference event. My research partner and I would have the pleasure of facilitating a Black Caucus Early Career Meeting on “Keepin it 100 in Academia” and we all had on our shirts, proudly displayed.

A panhandler spotted us and proceeded to ask for help, and then noticed our shirts.

The panhandler incorporated the statement “Can you help a Black child, well not me but I would be grateful too…”, to which I continued walking past and my friends kindly responded no to. The person was neither Black nor a child, so I was annoyed that the person would appropriate our concern for gain.

As we continued walking, the person loudly shouted “Well fuck you and your nigger bitch.”

Here are some important elements:

1. The grammatical syntax of the sentence indicated that the person, while perhaps mentally unstable and/or on substances, very much so wanted to convey a point on sociodemographic composition. The notion to “fuck you” was perhaps directed toward the men, while the “and” indicated it was more than just one type of person, including “your nigger bitch[es]”, or the possession of Black females.

2. There were White people in that same crosswalk. They might have intervened to object to the name calling, but when we turned to see their reaction, they quickly moved to the other side of the street.

3. And, perhaps most importantly, it was my first time being called a nigger to my face.

As we began to process, we could not get over the irony of the timing and group composition. From a Black Children Matter picture, to a Black Caucus event, with a group of researchers on racism and discrimination.

…

The next day, my colleagues and I went to the SRCD Awards Presentation. We were being recognized for our selection to an underrepresented scholars mentorship program. At the conclusion of the predominantly White (and White male at that) awards presentation (think #OscarsSoWhite for researchers), our program participants were asked to take a picture on the stage.

The photographer began yelling orders at the Black, Latinx, Asian, and FirstGen researchers to get on the stage more quickly. I did not like the tone used and made it clear to those around me that I felt disrespected by his direction to “go”, “suck it and tuck it”, and “get out the way”.

We took a series of five pictures, and when we got to the fourth, we were directed to “throw up [y]our favorite gang sign.”

To illustrate the visual image of such a request, we were among the only people of color in the entire ballroom, and the White male photographer just asked the chosen scholars ranging from faculty to graduate students to indicate their gang affiliation. We quickly, resoundingly, and collectively yelled back “no”, “nah”, or “that’s inappropriate”. He then said for the fifth photo to “hug each other like one big dysfunctional family.” To child researchers. To child and family researchers. To Black child and family researchers who CONSTANTLY challenge the narrative that Black and other children and families are dysfunctional.

As we left the stage, there was clear confusion, frustration, and hurt by many of the mentees and mentors who had come to the event specifically to be recognized for their accomplishments. I wanted to share our frustration with SRCD and the photographer, and did such. The photographer spent approximately 3 sentences normalizing his language, and eventually apologized, while adding an additional sentence on the normality of his request to ask other groups (e.g., accountants) to use gang signs. He said he would not use that joke again and offered an apology to others who might want to talk to him.

…

The reification of White supremacy was pervasive in Austin, Texas during the 2017 SRCD conference. Whether through awarded leadership, hired professionals, or local citizens, scholars of color were very much so reminded of our perceived status in our country, field, and society. Even with my whole PhD, training at the top public and private universities in the US, and transition to faculty member in the fall, I was still reminded of how we are collectively viewed. Niggers. Gang Members. Unworthy of awards (save Drs. Ansari, Derlan, and Garcia-Coll).

We often talk about basic versus applied research. Well, this was most certainly the time to apply what we know about discrimination and advocacy in-the-moment. I finally felt the sting of being called nigger. I attended to my frustration when called a gang member. But a greater set of questions of the conference may be:

How do we ensure safe spaces, places, and staff so that attendees can be present and appreciated? How can I present on racial coping strategies when I have just had to execute some of those same techniques before entering the room? How can I persist in academia if there are ever-present assaults waged at the local, professional, and virtual level?