The Rose in me Sees the Rose in you | Racist Roles Highlighted by Get Out

If you haven’t gone to see Get Out, what’s wrong with you?

I mean, you should probably go right now. *Eye rolls annoyingly*

Anywho, my friends and I have been waxing poetically about allathe themes you can catch in this delightful film. You would’ve thought we were getting paid out here the way we’re like, “but, if you hold it up to the light, you’ll see this perspective.” “Ahhhhh!”

But Jordan Peele is in fact not paying us, so we should probably get back to work.

Except, my work is actually to better understand racial dynamics and, well,Get Out was chock full of them.

Everyone has their a-ha moment in the film, and mine was about the dynamics of the family members contributing to the racial environment. (Duh, I’m a family clinical psychologist. And no, I don’t use a silver spoon in my tea to hypnotize folks.)

In short, every member of a racist family has a role in maintaining the racism.

I, like a lot of others, thought that Rose was just a victim of the family’s obliviousness to racism at the start of the film. But there were three very specific moments in the story of Rose that made it clear just how crucial her role was to the family:

1. When Chris initially asked Rose if her parents knew he was Black, she brushed aside his concern. Yes, she spouted “post-racial” Obama rhetoric to allay his fears, but she could’ve also indicated to him that she would engage in a conversation with her family. But she didn’t. So, #EveryoneHasARoleInARacistFamily.

2. When Chris started to see that Rose’s family was racist, he continued to see her as an outlier, one who was deserving of his romantic affection and interest. Yet, Rose did not stop her brother from dehumanizing him at the dinner table, nor others for ogling his physique. Rose was complicit in the racism perpetrated by others. #EveryoneHasARoleInARacistFamily

3. And finally, when it became clear at the end that she did in fact have a role maintaining the racial order within her family as the catcher-of-all-things-talented, I thought about how she could’ve intervened at so many points — most notably, with the keys — and yet, chose not to. #EveryoneHasARoleInARacistFamily

It would be one thing to point a finger at TRFOT (those racist families over there — not as catchy as THOT, huh?), but I have to raise my hand to indicate my own role in my racist family. As a bi-racial child, I have been privy to many a racial micro- and macro-aggression at the hands of my father or aunt.

I sat idly by when my aunt perpetuated a colorblind perspective. I cringe when my dad says Oriental. And, while I push myself to have conversations with them, it is hard. Who wants to be celebrating baby Jesus’ birthday and then bust out, “Sooo…about that super racist thing you said 2 years ago that crushed my soul and has me ruminating on it to this day…”

For every person, particularly White folks, it is critical to examine just how much you are keeping the balance of racial laughter, stereotypes, and actions going in your household. Are there places to intervene? Can you see how just one change in you can shift the entire dynamic of your household? Can you reengage after a particularly challenging conversation?

In order to acknowledge and get out of my role in racial experiences, I have to see the Rose in me and how much my passiveness can impact the greater society. I will take a stand and correct the erroneous actions and words from my family so that we will stop passing down hatred to the next generation.

It stops with us.